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Open Letter to Bellesa.co & Sluts and Scholars

For those that don't know, this is totally directed at a porn site. Why would a feminist write about porn? Because we're allowed to be sexual creatures and deserve proper education on the matter. It's not all about the penis.

#sexualHealth

"Just Relax" isn't relaxing

The phrase can be used in proper contexts, like with a masseuse or physical therapist. In bed with an obviously uncomfortable person is not the place. It's not sexy or calming and shouldn't be portrayed in movies as such.

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Try before you bi?

The exact label of what I am or could have been has never hung me up, because it doesn't matter. So why do people focus so much on how other people label themselves?

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Proud Dirty Shoe v2

V1 started the blog. I wanted to assess and write why my stances were so important to me. There's a famous sex ed tape that depicts women as shoes. Those that sleep around are dirty and not worth marrying. It's completely wrong.

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Finishing a First

Being my first gay romance short story, I find myself caring about Barry and Mark more than normal. I don't write about love or 'making love' that much because I find the virgin/straight love story old and overused. But this is different. The stereotypes and gender norms are different. So I don't feel like I'm writing that typical love story that's been done to death. And I actually want them to really end up together and have that real love story.   I've thought of so many variations of how they wind up together, including the one I started. 

However, I am having a hard time finishing it. It's like I have to make this first one absolutely perfect, as if it would be the only one. I think it's partly because I've thought about them so much. I haven't thought of different couples ending up together, I've always pictured just Mark and Barry in different situations. So picking just one is hard. And I want it to be the right one. I want their ending to be great, for them.     

 I also wonder if I'm struggling to finish because it's my first gay romance and writing about what happens to a man's penis from his point of view is difficult for me. I wrote my first lesbian scene not too long ago and found it easier than I thought I would, even though I've never had sex with another woman. But I know what it feels like from a woman's point of view. I don't know what it's like to have a penis. So with two penises, I don't have a point of view to choose that I've been in before. And maybe I'm putting off finishing their story because I am basically guessing and don't want to be wrong, or look foolish.

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