Go to bed mad
The cliche activity at a wedding: "Give Advice to the Newly Weds!" The cliche advice: "Never go to bed mad". That doesn't work for us. I can be humble enough to admit I become a mean angry person and that doesn't help anything.#fights
Although my main area of interest when reading and writing is romance, I'll admit not every day is perfect. With the normal ebb and flow of life, we've both wound up pretty stressed and snippy. Today was one of those telltale conversations that point out just what's happening. The ones where words are short, the tone is angry for no real particular reason, and things are misinterpreted. It ends in a few terse, but no less sincere, 'I love you's. The type of conversation where I'm conflicted between choosing to remain mad about what was said, and feeling empathetic for the partner under stress. After shoving my phone into my bag and slamming the car door shut, I vow to not talk to him for the rest of the day. Obviously focusing on the first choice. But then I find this.
At first, I smirk at the fact it was laying face down. Figures at a moment like this I would find an unlucky penny. And partially because it seemed just, I picked it up. With no real interest in it, I plopped it down on my desk and went about my day. Several hours went by and I spotted it a few times, noticing the out of place coin but not thinking much of it. It wasn't until well into the day that I actually looked at it. I hadn't picked it up to clean the earth, or even as a superstition, but for a memory.
The memory is from the beginning of our relationship when we actually had to call to talk to each other and not just look across the room. I had casually mentioned that I wanted a kitchen tiled in pennies someday. It was an insignificant fact within several others I was probably spewing. At the time I had said it, I didn't even find it important. But several days later my partner walked up and handed me a penny. "For our floor," he explained.
It quite literally took my breath away. And to this day is at the top of my list. Because it was the first time he mentioned anything about a long term plan, and he had mentioned it so casually. From someone who used to pride himself on evading commitment for so long, boasting about his resilience on the matter, this was a bit of a shock.
Then one day he came up and handed me a 2013 penny for the year we met. And another day with the year we started dating. Slowly my little penny collection began to grow. A few were from him. One was from the bus stop on the way to an exam. One from the sidewalk on the way to the library. But with each one I found, I was reminded of my partner and cheered up a bit.
Today the effect started off more cynical. But after a day apart and calming down before reconnecting, it ended exactly the same.