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Glitter Beard

I prefer "partner" over "wife". It feels right in our relationship, I'm not just "his wife" but an equal partner. Someone that isn't defined as a gendered role with gender norms to follow. I'm not at risk of being 'too masculine'.

#GenderEquality

Inflection and Intention

When I write about relationships in fiction I try and highlight the good and bad qualities of ones I've seen before, including my own. So much so that now I'm very conscious about how mine is perceived.

#GenderEquality

Shave it off and connect

Find that person that's willing to shave half your head. Not because he thinks it will look good, but because he knows it'll make you happy.

#GenderEquality

Open Letter to Bellesa.co & Sluts and Scholars

For those that don't know, this is totally directed at a porn site. Why would a feminist write about porn? Because we're allowed to be sexual creatures and deserve proper education on the matter. It's not all about the penis.

#sexualHealth

"Just Relax" isn't relaxing

The phrase can be used in proper contexts, like with a masseuse or physical therapist. In bed with an obviously uncomfortable person is not the place. It's not sexy or calming and shouldn't be portrayed in movies as such.

#sexualHealth

To Pseudonym or Not?

To keep anyone that knows me totally out of my writing life or not? Is there anything to be ashamed about? Will I ever answer these questions? Stay tuned...

#courage

Green is not a good color for love

One of the reasons I feel like I can write about great relationships isn't only because I feel like I'm in one, but because I've been in a completely shitty one. It was a total 360 from what I have now. The main horrible difference was the level of trust and amount of jealousy. 

Two doors down there is a man I call Fabio. He's everything a male model should be. His hair is luscious beyond my wildest dreams. His body is built exactly how a magazine wants. And his face is perfect, absolutely chiseled and beautiful. My partner knows all. of. this. I literally almost lost my footing the other day when we walked by him. He's that surprisingly good looking. But the thing is, my partner doesn't care. We also talk about attractive women he sees. I'm fully aware there are still attractive women. Hell, I'll give a person credit where credit is due.

At the end of the day, the level of beauty of any one person doesn't matter when it comes to that feeling of being connected to someone. And we both understand that. 

But like I've said, it wasn't like this with my ex. I knew at the time that we didn't have a healthy relationship. But I kept telling myself part of a relationship is a compromise. And if someone has been cheated on and hurt, who am I to judge how they handle that. In the end, that wasn't the relationship for me. I'm not the jealous type. I don't want to be uncomfortable for no reason. 

And now I'm not. But I still not only like to reflect on what was so different between that miserable mess of a situation and now, but I like to try to recreate it enough that others can understand it. And that a healthy relationship is something that works for both people.