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A Real Day Off

Every day after work I get back on the computer and continue to work. Every weekend I work. Trying to fill every moment with reaching my goals. Once in awhile my partner and I have a day off together and I'm forced to just relax.

#Elopement

Pasta for Thanksgiving

Third and final part of the elopement. Pasta for Thanksgiving: Or Why I'm so Weird About Traditions. Just because we wave off our elopement as no big deal, doesn't mean we're completely emotionless about it, or each other.

#Elopement

E day

Part 2: If the wedding is supposed to be all about the couple, then that's how we made it. No pressure, no fuss, and the least amount of stress possible. Just how we wanted it.

#Elopement

When I knew

So when I say this is "when I knew", it's not when I knew I wanted to marry him. But knew as a couple we were at a mature and steady point in our relationship to handle getting matching 'wedding band' tattoos.

#Elopement

Hopeless Romantic...less

I've been a hopeless romantic for about as long as I can remember. My Pinterest wedding board is perfectly planned out to include everything from the venue to hair style.

#Elopement

Glitter Beard

I prefer "partner" over "wife". It feels right in our relationship, I'm not just "his wife" but an equal partner. Someone that isn't defined as a gendered role with gender norms to follow. I'm not at risk of being 'too masculine'.

#GenderEquality

We do [n't conform]

Part 1: Why we did it

The reason eloping worked so well for us is that we didn't see this wedding as an "event" quite the same way as most people do. For me, it was an excuse to drag my partner away from the water, get him out of swim trunks, buy a pretty dress on Amazon, and finally have a vacation for just the two of us. In reality, we got home later the next day and resumed life as normal. Because everything was normal. There was nothing anyone could have said that would have made me and my partner more devoted to each other. No piece of paper or signature could have changed how we feel about each other. 

For our ceremony, we chose to eliminate any mention of religion or the terms husband and wife. We had been using the term "life-partner" for years, and now we've just transitioned from "life-partner" to "legal-life-partner". So really, the ceremony was just a formality for legality sake. A romantic way to say we can file taxes together and/or make life-altering decisions when someone is in a coma. Society has told me growing up to dream of this day, and I absolutely have. It's a day that was supposed to change my life forever. But why? Things were perfect as they were. And who waits for someone else to give them permission to become a perfect duo?

Which brings up the other reason we opted out of a traditional marriage. The father gives his daughter away to her husband, who makes her his wife, replaces her last name, redefining her identity, and accepts money from her father for the wedding as a 'thanks for taking her'? That's not really us. At all. Granted my parents absolutely love my partner, I didn't need my partner to ask if the two of us could get married. We're adults and this was our marriage. Traditions for tradition's sake don't make much sense when they're steeped in nonsense and possession. But I digress...

And lastly, the stress. Life is stressful enough. To the point, both of us ended our work week with twitching eyes. Driving up to Asheville exhausted from the weeks previous, the last thing we needed was more pressure and anxiety. Even small weddings have planned meetings with family, making sure people found the place alright, making sure things stay on schedule, making sure people get along, making sure things got delivered, and on. That being said, you put up with stress when it's required for things that are important, like work and school. However, like I said, this 'event' wasn't super important to us. Sure we've made an announcement to the world "we're fucking serious about each other". But we knew we were fucking serious about each other. For the past 3.5 years, our relationship has been stress-free. Why throw unnecessary debt into the mix? Why add stress when there was none? 

With everything else in life, marrying my life partner should be the easiest thing I ever do.

So it was. 

The only people we were responsible for, was the two of us. And by the end of the night, the only people my partner was responsible for was the two of us. 

#SloppyDrunk

Part 2: The day

When we get to break the news to the family: "We love you but you weren't invited". 

Part 3: Where it comes from