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Pasta for Thanksgiving

Third and final part of the elopement. Pasta for Thanksgiving: Or Why I'm so Weird About Traditions. Just because we wave off our elopement as no big deal, doesn't mean we're completely emotionless about it, or each other.

#Elopement

E day

Part 2: If the wedding is supposed to be all about the couple, then that's how we made it. No pressure, no fuss, and the least amount of stress possible. Just how we wanted it.

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We do [n't conform]

Part 1 of the Elopement: Why we did it. The event of getting married seems like less of an "event" when you're just transitioning from life-partners to "legal" life-partners.

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When I knew

So when I say this is "when I knew", it's not when I knew I wanted to marry him. But knew as a couple we were at a mature and steady point in our relationship to handle getting matching 'wedding band' tattoos.

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Hopeless Romantic...less

I've been a hopeless romantic for about as long as I can remember. My Pinterest wedding board is perfectly planned out to include everything from the venue to hair style.

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Glitter Beard

I prefer "partner" over "wife". It feels right in our relationship, I'm not just "his wife" but an equal partner. Someone that isn't defined as a gendered role with gender norms to follow. I'm not at risk of being 'too masculine'.

#GenderEquality

A Real Day Off

I've said before that my life is surprisingly unromantic despite spending a lot of my time writing and even just thinking about romance stories. Six months ago, my partner and I eloped. Which was significant for several reasons. Besides the obvious getting married bit, this was also our first trip together as just the two of us. Everything else has always been as a family vacation or work trip. 

But then another big event happened. We spent the last day together at home. It's very rare for us to be off work together. And if we are we are usually traveling to family member's houses, or celebrating holidays.  Being that it was still our 'wedding weekend' I had mentally told myself that Sunday was for the two of us to be together. So even with the temptation of doing work, or anxiety of not doing work, I was mentally free from it. And we actually spent a day relaxing together. 

For a lot of couples, this is a typical Saturday or Sunday. For us, it was a chance to spend the day cooking together and watching a full movie cuddled on the couch, followed by a delicious nap. 

First attempt at making homemade bone broth and ramen the day after the elopement. 

A full six months later and we finally had another full day for just the two of us. Again, any other day where we ended up both off had only been due to federal holidays. Which were claimed by various family members. I had only found out about this real day off a little over a week before it happened, so I didn't have much time to plan anything. But I tried. The pathetic thing about never having time off together is that we don't know what to do with time like that. Trying my best, I planned a day of walking through downtown and kayaking. Both of which were ruined by rain. 

The day started out plain enough, a few errands to two different stores and a late breakfast at Waffle House. Nothing special for most people. Over chocolate chip waffles and diced and covered hash browns, we contemplated our nearby options. Only to come home with nothing.

So, on came the Netflix, blankets, and a slight flare of anxiety. This could be our last day off together for another half a year. We had to make the most of it. And here we were laying down to Netflix like we could every other night. However, an idea occurred as we blankly searched through the Netflix options. 

This was my day off. 

This was his day off. 

A day off to relax. 

Even if we did take a nap, we were spending the day together, resting up like we deserved. So as we curled up for a nap on the couch, I lost my burning anxiety and appreciated the fact we could take a nap together. From there we did fairly mundane things, went to a dealer to replace a headlight, almost got sucked into buying a brand new SUV, reheated leftovers, and brushed the cats out.  It wasn't a spectacular day like I had been imagining. 

And yet the feeling was completely different. 

Just the thought of having the option to do whatever we wanted that day without one of us rushing off to work was so soothing. We could have done anything and I think it would have turned out wonderful because we were together. Luckily it only supported how well we got along and actually liked each other. 

It wasn't just the relationship though. It was going into a day mentally preparing not to do anything. Every other Saturday or Sunday I try to get as much done as I possibly can. I got goals to accomplish and life isn't getting any shorter. So it's rare for me to accept a real full day off. If I'm not working I'm plagued with guilt that I should be. 

Thankfully, I have a partner to occasionally derail me for a normal day off for naps, shopping, and eating unhealthy food.