For the second week in a row, I have not published anything. Though, my anxiety had tampered down near the end of the week. So that seems like a win... till it came back this week.
Sometimes looking at all my goals can be a bit overwhelming. Several of them are writing goals and none of them are getting done. So, I think it's time to reevaluate where and when I write.
The main problem is cracking my laptop back open after I get home. It's been so long since I've regularly worked at home that I'm out of the habit. When I get home now, I just want to make my dinner, do some light cleaning, or the real dream, do nothing. When I was in the habit, I was working 40 hours a week and driving 10. Even with that much time taken up commuting, I was still able to get writing done. I used to write in the living room after work while Billy watched TV.
Despite working together, and basically being together 24-7, I don't want to leave during our post-work relaxation. Even if I'm cooking or doing dishes, I'm still within talking distance. A good amount of time we aren't actively talking, but just being that close is nice. So while I could go up to my office, I really don't want to.
And let's not even talk about doing it in the morning before work. That's not even an option. I always leave the house later than I meant to. I can't take on more things before noon.
So that leaves work, where I spend the bulk of my hours. I've tried writing here but with the dive shop hustling about, it's easy to get pulled away. Or fill up my to-do list and simply shove the writing down till it eventually falls off the end. Each day plopping my writing at the top and watching it drop off by nighttime. The items getting endlessly shuffled about and never done.
I have scheduled time to write while at work, like "from 2pm to 3pm I'll write". But then I also fill in the rest of the hours. And inevitably, things change, it gets pushed down and eventually out.
I didn't start this blog with a solution, just acknowledging there is a problem. I haven't stopped writing this weekly update, even though my updates are 'I haven't done a single thing' week after week because this is my weekly reminder that I need to do things. And honestly the only bit of writing I do each week.