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Weekly Update: Week 26

Obviously this is no longer a 'weekly blog', but my hope is I get back into writing more.


Weekly Update: Week 17

I can finally say I've had a productive week of writing. Have I actually published anything on my site? No. But, I have actually put words down.


Weekly Update: Week 11

With a new year, comes New Year's Resolutions! Of course 1 of them is related to writing and so far off to a good start!


Weekly Update: Week 10

This is the second week in a row where I haven't published anything beyond these blogs. I think it's time to reassess my writing plan.


Writing Week 35: Pansexual Characters

As I get back into writing, I find it easier to get pulled back into fanfiction. I wouldn’t have to develop characters, places, or general concepts. It’s just so much easier and I know where to publish the story so people might read it. On my site, it’s a toss-up of what gets read.

Ironically, with it being June, the last story idea I got really into was between a woman and a man. Though in my mind she would be pansexual, this relationship wasn’t.

With each passing June, I think I become more and more excited to celebrate pride. I’ve said before that I don’t mind that I wasn’t fully open during my dating years. Hypothetically if I didn’t date much, would I have even dated people of different genders? I had one relationship at 16 and one at 23 before I met my current partner. There were a few people I would have been interested in dating, but otherwise, I was too busy and focused on other things.

On one hand, it has been easier to claim a sexuality now that I am in a committed relationship and I don’t feel the need to ‘prove’ anything by diversifying my dating history. Several times in college I did wonder how you bridged that change without an awkward announcement. Like ‘I want to go to a gay bar tonight, and if a woman starts hitting on me, can we just pretend this is normal’... but without actually saying that. Obviously, as the shy unsure introvert, I never came close to saying that.

On the other hand, now that I am married to a man, it feels like I “picked a side” or am blending into a hetero world, and no one really cares what I claim to be.

The flag under the my desk thanks to a coworker, and my tiny one hidden by the light in front of my screen.

I halfway don’t even care at times because I’m not dating and who really needs to know? If I keep my little rainbow flag at my desk year-round, do I need to spell it out? My partner knows and we openly talk about it. At times, that feels plenty. But I do suppose had I seen pansexual adults growing up, I would have been more open to the idea from a young age.

Though with my ‘hetero’ relationship, what am I suppose to do? Tattoo the pan flag on my arm? That option isn’t out, but I rather dislike the color scheme and much prefer the bisexual colors. Constantly bring it up? Or, just make a bunch of characters I write pansexual?