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The stigma facing the DMV has turned it into a dreaded hell-hole. Or at least in my mind. But by the time I left, I wasn't counting the hours spent there. Instead, it was how many excited new drivers I had seen.


Your perspective is a funny thing

People's perspective on the same thing can drastically change how they approach that thing. Explaining your side is one part, actually listening when the other explains their side is another.


Misanthrope : too intelligent for empathy?

How moving to boarding school started my transition from a people-hating, tough-shit, republican to an accept-all, 'put yourself in their shoes' silly liberal.


Weekly Update: Week 20

I ran through the top 6 conflict types and noticed that I only really write about 1 or 2. But if I can combine relationship lessons/advice and my love for feel-good romance stories, isn't that a win-win?


From their side

     It's easy to think everyone else should be as absorbed in your pain as you are. I have to change what I'm doing or how I'm doing it, from not picking something off the ground too quickly or going outside after a storm. Some days managing my pain is all I can do, forget trying to do things I want. So when my partner gets mad that I can't do something, it can be difficult for me to see reason in being upset. I'm so wrapped up in just trying not to be in pain, that leaving the dishes out, or not going out to dinner seems pretty insignificant. 

     In that moment, I forget that I've been on the other side. We've all gotten disappointed when people can't do things due to an illness. Or when it becomes a fact that you can never do a certain activity with a loved one, and you're left just wishing things were different. For me, it was never going to amusement parks as a kid. I grew up so jealous of people whose parents could take them. I remember getting angry. And it's not that I loved my family any less, just aggravated that things had to be that way. 

     Now things have completely changed. I'm the one holding my partner back. I'm the one loading him up with extra responsibilities because I can't handle them at that time. I'm the one that's making parts of his life just a bit more difficult.  Knowing all this is of course hard, but also necessary when things get a little strained between the two of us. When he gets frustrated at my limited capabilities, and I only get aggravated that he's not sympathetic enough, I can take a step back and remember how angry I have been. 

     It's easy to say 'suck it up' or shut someone out with a 'I'm in pain, leave me alone'. It's harder to try and see from someone else's point of view.